So I have came to a hard realization...I'm no good at good-bye's. In fact, not only am I bad at them, I suck at them. I've always known this to an extent, but sometimes I manage it alright. I mean I didn't cry when my parents dropped me off at college, which was pretty dang good for me. Yes, I was sad they were leaving and all. But, I don't know, for some reason I was able to deal with it. Yet, I have a new good-bye that I had to endure only a few days ago. And this goodbye wasn't easy at all. In fact, it was definitely up there and the top hardest goodbyes I have ever had to say. This good-bye was to the guys in our ward that won't be returning next semester because they will be leaving for their missions. Now while it will be really hard to see all of them leaving, there were a few specific individuals whose absence will be the hardest to deal with it.
First of all, there is Jack. This kid is simply amazing. Whether making muffins and watching movies, or searching the Bookstore for mistletoe (And they do have it, at least at Christmas time...if you're wondering), Helen Keller karaoke going to the temple, waffle party and footy pajamas or simply sitting and talking. I really can't explain how much I am going to miss him. It certainly doesn't help that he was at our dorm every single day so there probably wasn't a day that passed after break that I didn't talk to. What's college without Jack? In fact, what is life without him? He seriously makes everything about a million times funnier, interesting, and better. I mean I know that I can still write him while he is on his mission, yet that's definitely not the same as seeing him. So saying bye was soooo hard. And I thought I could get through good bye without crying...that was a terrible thing to believe. Seriously. What was I thinking? Haha. Two days has passed since then....but it definitely seems like more than that. Ohhhh I just really hope the next two years pass quickly so they can come back already! Because, well I mean I'm super excited for them to go their missions, like I think it will be the best experiences they could possibly have and guys with strong testimonies are so attractive. They like radiate this light. (: But I really just want to see them again.
It's going to be hard to see Alex go too....although he isn't coming back next semester either, he doesn't go to the MTC until like March or April and he only lives like a half hour away so he can come visit. It was still sad staying goodbye for a indefinite period of time though. Not only will FHE be so different without Alex, but also, our dorm on Sunday evenings will be so empty. Who will I get like 6 minutes after curfew talking to now? I don't even want to think about it.
What will I do without both of them? Being strong isn't easy. I sure wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be simple...but life isn't like that. and I have definitely realized that more and more lately.
So why are goodbyes' so hard while hellos come so naturally and easily?
I don't think I'll ever know.....
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